Kernel Panic

Rage Room Recollection

Name: Rage Room Recollection
Description: A mock incident review reconstructs a spectacular office-equipment demolition, finds the controls effective, and ends with the narrator forgetting what started the anger.

A mock incident review reconstructs a spectacular office-equipment demolition, finds the controls effective, and ends with the narrator forgetting what started the anger.

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Words & signal

Lyrics

[Intro]
For the record,
the room was like that
when we finished.

[Verse 1]
I don’t recall exactly
when the banjo left my hand,
but according to the drywall
it was somewhere near the stand.

There’s a keyboard by the doorway,
missing letters F through Q,
and a swivel chair in four locations
where there formerly were two.

We numbered all the photographs,
reconstructed every throw,
and found a piece of printer
several impressive yards below.

[Pre-Chorus]
Psychosocial hazard rodeo,
we log each flying page,
we don’t bury the signal in the noise,
we quantify the rage.
Not in anger, but in light,
we frame the blasted drum,
we document the risk, then kick the drum
and let the banjo run.

[Chorus]
Wasi River Rage session,
best available account,
there were several contributing factors
and a frankly startling amount

of hazards, controls, and banjo rolls
where the old machine came through—
Wasi River Rage reflection,
here’s what happened at 2:02.

[Verse 2]
Direct cause: the sledgehammer.
Contributing factor: Dell.
The monitor performed as designed
until it didn’t quite as well.

A secondary impact
changed its operational state,
and the fax machine encountered
something it could not accommodate.

Safety glasses properly fitted,
steel toes planted on the floor,
containment stayed effective—
though we did require a broom once more.

[Chorus]
Wasi River Rage recollection,
sequence reasonably clear,
the printer met the hammer
at approximately here.

No injuries were recorded,
every hazard stayed controlled,
and property destruction
was the purpose, we’ve been told.

[Breakdown]
Wasi River Rage!
Psychosocial hazard rodeo tonight!
Hazards, controls, and banjo rolls
all mapped in black and white.
We don’t bury the signal in the noise,
we write it line by line,
not in anger, but in light we shout,
then cross-check every sign.

[Bridge]
DIRECT CAUSE?
Sledgehammer!

CONTRIBUTING FACTOR?
Printer!

PPE?
Satisfactory!

CONTAINMENT?
Good!

INJURIES?
None!

PROPERTY DAMAGE?
Extensive!

OBJECTIVE?

Achieved!

[Verse 3]
Root cause investigation
found no mystery beneath:
that printer had been a printer
for an aggravating length.

Corrective action recommended:
source another obsolete
piece of office infrastructure
for the next time that we meet.

Then somebody asked the question
that concluded our review:
“Did the designated control measure
actually work for you?”

[Spoken]
I no longer remember
what I was mad about.

Finding:

Control effective.

[Final Chorus]
Wasi River Rage reflection,
best evidence in sight,
we turned our grief and daily stress
into something that felt right.

With hazards, controls, and banjo rolls,
we kept the chaos true—
not in anger, but in light we roared,
and then we laughed at 2:02.

Wasi River Rage recollection,
we did what we had to do:
we document the risk, then kick the drum—
now the room looks good as new.

[Outro]
Banjo plink,
fiddle scrape,
river rolling out of view—
Wasi River Rage remembered,
and the rage remembers you.
56:T7bb,[Intro]
For the record,
the room was like that
when we finished.

[Verse 1]
I don’t recall exactly
When the banjo left my hand,
But according to the drywall
It was somewhere near the stand.

There’s a keyboard by the doorway,
Missing letters F through Q,
And a swivel chair in four locations
Where there formerly were two.

We numbered all the photographs,
Reconstructed every throw,
And found a piece of printer
Several impressive yards below.

[Chorus]
Rage Room Recollection,
Best available account,
There were several contributing factors
And a frankly startling amount

Of toner on the ceiling
Where the old machine came through—
Rage Room Recollection,
Here’s what happened at 2:02.

[Verse 2]
Direct cause: the sledgehammer.
Contributing factor: Dell.
The monitor performed as designed
Until it didn’t quite as well.

A secondary impact
Changed its operational state,
And the fax machine encountered
Something it could not accommodate.

Safety glasses properly fitted,
Steel toes planted on the floor,
Containment remained effective—
Though we did require a broom.

[Chorus]
Rage Room Recollection,
Sequence reasonably clear,
The printer met the hammer
At approximately here.

No injuries were recorded,
Every hazard stayed controlled,
And property destruction
Was the purpose, I am told.